“I can make a case that I regret nothing. After all, most of my mistakes turned out to be things I survived, or turned into funny stories, or, on occasion, even made money from.”
-Nora Ephron, I Feel Bad About My Neck
I love this quote. The fact that it comes from the fantastic Nora Ephron is even better. (You have her to thank for When Harry Met Sally…, Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail, and Julie & Julia, among others.)
Regret is something I’ve been wrestling with a lot this past year, and I’m ready to put it in its proper place and move forward with 2016. I have all kinds of regrets:
-Financial: staying in underpaying jobs too long; not realizing how much debt I was digging myself into with my student loans; not saving enough money when I did make a decent salary; quitting a great job before I had something lined up, and the ripple effect it has had on me ever since
-Relationship: staying in too much and not putting myself out there to date in my 20’s; settling for dating someone who I wasn’t even really interested in…but ended up hurting me in the long run; focusing on why I was single too much instead of focusing on myself and my goals
-Personal: moving from Los Angeles instead of regrouping with a new place to live and a new job/roommate, etc.; moving to Austin instead of moving home to live with my parents…something that I would do several years later anyway, and could’ve saved myself even more financial stress; trusting the wrong people/choosing the wrong “friends”
-Health: being overweight for over a decade; losing and gaining back about 20 pounds every few years; stopping and starting with “working out” instead of being consistent
Here’s the thing, though: I survived all of it.
I recently talked to my best friend about my regrets and how they’ve been hanging over me ever since I left Austin last year. The excellent thing about best friends is that they can put things in perspective for you and remind you why you made those choices when you did–when you doubt yourself, they tell you what you said at the time and you instantly feel better, even if you would’ve made the choice differently this time. Ever since I came to Iowa, I’ve been moving in super-slow motion, fearing I would make the same “mistakes” or make things worse for myself, but at some point you just have to take a step forward. And then another one. So that’s what I’m doing. And hopefully by sharing my regrets with you, I’m releasing them and leaving them in the past.
As Nora said, I do have a few funny stories, and certainly plenty of fond memories. Whether I make any money from them is still to be seen.
Now that I’ve hit you with the heavy stuff on a Monday, feel free to turn your brain off and look at these pretty gowns from last night’s Golden Globes. The show was a hot mess (bring Tina & Amy back!), and I only got 5 of the 25 awards right in my predictions, if that gives you any idea of how all over the place it was. For a complete list of winners, look here.